You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
