LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
