There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't turn off my feet"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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