i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
