Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
