If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
