so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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