its not stalking. its research.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
