Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
