So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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