carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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