Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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