I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont even know how to be here
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
