Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
