wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
