So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
