So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
