went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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