why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
