Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
