Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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