We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
