So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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