you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
