You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
