Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
