Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
