This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
