He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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