How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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