i jhust puked up my retainher.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
