everyone is single if you try hard enough
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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