i think my tv is drunk
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
