I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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