glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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