You work out of a Hotel?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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