So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
