i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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