What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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