I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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