The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize