She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
MIDGETS
????
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
