Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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