he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
