You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
