it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You can't motorboat a personality
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
