All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize