I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
