Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
