I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
