I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
