Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
