The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
