I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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