And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
