I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
