Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
