would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize