PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
