if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
