after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
