Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
