apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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